Twas the first day of training

 

By: Tim Andrus  (As if anyone wants to take credit)

 

 

 

Twas the first day of training, I awake in a fog.

 

Not a creature was stirring, not even BeefDog

 

My bag was all packed with swimming attire,

 

I hope my ambition will not soon expire.

 

 

 

I frump to the kitchen, fire up the Kuerig.

 

Brew a bit of black coffee, in a cup much too big.

 

Brush my teeth and I’m ready, to warm up the truck.

 

The remote start doesn’t work, and I groan WTF.

 

 

 

Grab my bag and my jacket, and my hot cup of Joe.

 

Turn out all the house lights, and I’m ready to go.

 

It’s dark and it’s chilly, the moisture has fallin’

 

This coffee it’s workin’, ‘cause nature is callin’

 

 

 

Arrive at the pool, a few minutes to soon.

 

I sit in the truck, rock out to some tunes.

 

5:30 has come, the doors have unlocked.

 

My game face is on, this gun has been cocked

 

 

 

Stand at the end, my lane it is clear.

 

I dive in real fast; please don’t look at my rear.

 

The first laps feel great, I hammer them through.

 

The next aren’t as good, in fact, they are poo!

 

 

 

Eight minutes have past, the warm-up is done

 

My breathing is fast, I’m not having much fun.

 

Twenty times one hundred will take a great toll

 

These flippers and paddles will help make this goal

 

 

 

I flip and I flop, on my front and my back

 

I yell to the guard, ‘tis not an attack.

 

The clock it keeps time, it continues to beep.

 

My lungs they are searing, my eyes they do weep.

 

 

 

Fifteen of them done, it feels like much more.

 

Five more and it’s over, I can lay on the floor.

 

With two of them left, I like to count down;

 

My best wish for now is that I do not drown.

 

 

 

Last one and I’m done, this set it is toast

 

Be assured of my times, I surely won’t boast.

 

I’m done with the pool, reunited are we.

 

I run to the shower, ‘cause I have to pee.

 

 

 

The day is just started and I’ve learned one thing.

 

Take less time off in winter and don’t wait ‘til spring.

 

May your training be painful, and your recovery fast.

 

Race season approaches, when I’ll whoop your Ass!